Review: Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

*shouts* Incoming fall, incoming disaster, your way, it's coming!

*book falls off cliff*

Good riddance. *walks back, a bounce in steps*

............................

I wish this had actually happened..but alas, you don't always get what you want.

This was my meant to be novel, my one true love. I mean, cmon.

Weird as hell heroine? - Check.
An equally weird hero? -Double check.
Rude as heck side characters? -Triple check.
A weird as hell backstory for the main character? -Triple check.
Chance meeting with the male protagonist in the most weird yet awkward way? - A big, fat, CHECK, please.

Fellow readers, reviewers: Then why, J, why two stars?
Me: You'll see.

That's been my conversation with others, myself and thoughts ever since I DNFed this novel at page 73 or something.

But let me explain it to you, in proper grammer and all. I mean, I don't want the grammar nazis going after me, you know.

So, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.

But, I am not.

Let me explain.

The cover - A dark and bleak future is what I see first from burnt matchsticks. The white goes towards a bland life, lived. The writing insinuates forced comforting of self, when you say all is fine, but inside you're breaking down hard, and you can't say anything without sounding weak and problematic..
...........
Ah sorry, personal moment there. Anyway. It's got everything I thought I would get something from a woman who wants to change things for herself but has fears, qualms about the world and the word change itself. It's perfect hence why I loved it. And there go the points racing.

The summary - A thirty something Eleanor is living the same bland and bleak life she's been living since she was born. Work, home, friends (very rare), mom, and taking care of herself.

Repeat. And repeat. And let the routine train go, go, go.

Basically, everything is the same until she spots Raymond, ends up falling in love, and then struggles to accept the changes that are clearly forming in her life.

A charming, and quirky, yet weird summary. My cup of tea. Hence the points.

But thennnnnnnnn, things don't go the way they're supposed to.

The character - Eleanor is way too weird for my taste, and bland at times, and mentally not the same age as she is physically.

She's 60 at the beginning with her very big and fancy sentences, then she's 13, pointing out crap and her routine like she's writing in her diary...

"Dear Diary, I have to tell someone my routine. I mean this could be an entry for the guinness book of records and I might miss it. So here I go. Today I went to work. Ben (we'll use ben just for an argument's sake) teased me about the tickets I brought and the movies, maybe I really don't have taste, I'm just not going to talk to him, meanie." and so on and so on.

You get the point. She's too weird and not even in the sane space. And then she talks about her bikini wax like she's the first human who's ever experienced it or who's dying for the reaction or the treatment procedure. FOR TWO GOSH DARN PAGES!

Too long, and I'm really not dying here for the bikini wax. So move on please.

Plus she can't even defend herself from comments which could hurt her, like people calling her weirdo, freak and all. Wow.

I really do not need a main protagonist who teaches readers, influences them, to always ignore stuff like that when it's been said multiple times. BLOODY MULTIPLE TIMES!

I've got no other reason to be able to give this novel the credibility of being any good.

So if anyone was saying this was a masterpiece, one worth reading, read my review and think again.

Perhaps, you're just like Eleanor. Fine on the outside, but lacking in what's supposed to be right anymore.

Until the next read,

TMR

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